Hey my lovez.
Its been a loooong while since I last updated and the reasons are ones that I'm sure those of you who are close to me would know.
There have been changes.
Changes that I don't and never will accept and welcome.
Right now for those of you who don't know, I'm in Batam, Indonesia.
Living with my sister and certainly not loving it.
To tell you the truth, I don't know if I can and will ever adapt to living life here.
Life back in Singapore was better to tell you the truth.
I mean, there I can go wherever I wanna go partly cause I am familiar with my surroundings and the transport system.
Besides, if and when I do get lost, I know who to contact or I can just go to the nearest MRT station /bus interchange and just get directions from them.
But here??
Duude...
Its like a jungle in here.
If you're lost, then bye bye to you.
I mean seriously.
Its like advisable to get a car or at least a motor bike to get around.
Another thing is the fact that I miss my bestie/s.
I miss them so much that I cry myself to sleep like every night.
Outside, I may seem happy and adapting well to this new life.
But inside me??
Its a raging war.
War between accepting what reality is and the fantasy that I want to live out.
Yes.
I am old enough to learn how to adapt in new places, but when you have been living in a particular place for like practically 99.99% of your whole life, can you accept it??
I have to leave the only life that I've known, the people that I love and care for, the places that I always go to.
The food that I eat like ALL the time.
Now that sucks like hell.
*sighs.
I would do and give anything just so that I can do what I have planned to do.
Like no shit.
The desire that I have to want to do it burns so much that I can feel it slowly eating me up inside.
If I don't get to do it by this year, well, I gotta say is goodbye world.
Its like now or never.
Yeah, its THAT bad.
It even got to the extent that I deleted some of my favorite songs, videos and pictures in my phone.
Ouh well.
Maybe its just not meant to be huh.
I'll sign off here and maybe soon I'll have another post...
Love you guys!!
Muackxz..
Labels: thoughts
